One of the biggest blessings in my life is teaching spinning - spinning specifically because it's one of those things I didn't set out to do but it's turned out to be one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
When I got certified to teach fitness in the first place I thought I wanted to be a personal trainer. I haven't abandoned that objective at this point but it's so interesting how my goals as a fitness instructor have changed over the year I've been doing this.
My first certification was in Group Exercise which gave me the basic training to teach any group fitness class. The seed was planted during that training program that I could hang out a shingle on my own to train people in addition to try to get hired at a gym. At the time, getting hired at my gym was certainly the holy grail but it was a little bit of a long shot. My personal fitness was at a premium level, having discussed the idea with the fitness director (an act that required a herculean amount of courage to do at the time - I was so insecure about not having any experience and not having pursued what I should have done at 20 that I really had to screw up a ton of true grit even to reach out and ask for the meeting). She is my favorite kind of person - ultra outgoing, super bubbly but not in a girly pukey way. She's going a mile a minute at all times and is extremely smart. I loved her the minute I met her and we really clicked. I had heard legendary tales about how she basically stalked the inventor of spinning and was one of the original master spinning instructors. I can absolutely relate to that sort of tenacity and I felt really at home around her. She also was very encouraging which surprised me - I guess my insecurity stemmed from assuming she'd reject me out of hand because I am in my 40s. On the contrary she really responded to my physique and my ideas and put together a recommended plan for me to audition.
In the meantime I got certified in core and functional fitness. But she'd wanted me to audition for blast as well as spinning. I am obviously an avid spinner but to me spinning instructors were just a cut above regular fitness instructors - it seemed sort of unattainable. She said that she loved my personality and that I'd be perfect for spinning so she asked me to just go for it and what I lacked in technical savvy I more than made up for in personality. Well, that right there is a total blessing because I have a very strong high energy personality and there have been so many countless humiliating moments where someone's been overwhelmed by my Tigger-like enthusiasm. I've been teased about it for my whole life - alright, alright, ALRIGHT I get it, it's a little much sometimes. But in my 40s I've gotten really fucking sick and tired of apologizing for it, too. So to have someone not only be at my same level of energy but totally get how to use it in a professional setting was genuine validation from the universe that I have a place here on earth.
So I put together an audition for spin and blast and practiced both like crazy. I was hungry ALL of the time which makes me smile just even writing this. People who know and love me know that I am pretty much hungry all of the time on any given day. But during the audition time my appetite was purely insatiable. I also completed a spinning certification during that time so I was all set for the audition including super-cute playlists and cue cards with the proper technical information to communicate. Some of the instructors would let me sneak on stage for mini practice sessions and my fellow gym members were ultra supportive too.
I was talking to fitness directors at other clubs during this time and I was surprised at how many of them were receptive to me with a total lack of experience. I don't know why I held this line of work on such a pedestal but I started to see the constant stream of green lights as sort of confirmation from God that I was on the right track and not to question it.
Audition day was one of my favorite experiences in life to-date. I auditioned for spin with 5 other people and for blast with 10 other people. The spinning auditions were first and the person setting the order was one of my best friends, a fellow spinning instructor. He put me very last because he said that is the most advantageous position. I rode all the other auditions too because I wanted to show off my skillz a little. Not trying to compare myself to the other people but I think I was the most fun of the 5 and I felt the most positive energy in the room, like everyone was really wanting me to succeed. This is a totally new phenomenon for me having worked in hard-core business environments for so many years, ultra political dog-eat-dog environments where there are people just dying to see you fail. Not the case here - everyone was smiling and cheering and I wanted to cry tears of joy while I was up there. I felt like I belonged. It seems so funny to think about it now because I feel that way every time I get on stage as an instructor - like I just want to drop to my knees and cry tears of gratitude. Isn't that weird!? I just feel so lucky and happy that I get this opportunity in my 40s!!!
So of course after that setup it's obvious they hired me. I'd been unemployed all during this time and had started training people for a little extra cash. I loved doing that too - so much! It was like not only was my natural enthusiasm the feature that attracted my clients to me, but my big sister encouragement was what they all needed. I was able to fill my days with training appointments so I didn't feel so scared and isolated. And it gave me a physical outlet for my anxiety at that time. It was just enough money to supplement my unemployment. It was just like God was shining his favor on all of this - feel free to judge me talking about God and know what? I'm not a real "God" person. But all of these events are just so implausable what else could it be? What other 40 year old woman can walk into a gym and join for her birthday then a year later be hired as a spinning instructor!?
So today I taught one of the primo classes - a 75 minute class lousy with triathletes. The class was completely packed - out of the 45 bikes in the studio there were only empty. I felt like it was such a major responsibility and a one-time-only opportunity. I had my playlist and class plan all set. I know my shit so I wasn't worried about preparing for the class. I was just worried I'd get nervous and tongue-tied and that people would think that I don't know what I'm doing. But just like in all those other situations it was almost like I was filled with confidence I don't normally possess. I walked in that studio today like I owned the room even though it looked like Lance Armstrong cloned himself 41 times - oh my God so serious. My usual 'target market' are women in their late 20s to early 40s who all are trying to lose 5 or 10 pounds and want a fun punchy difficult workout so they can go have pancakes without guilt. These triathletes are some hard core dudes - and when I say dudes, I mean the class was 90% dudes (some of them cute!). Didn't matter - I just owned it: I owned my power, I owned my might, I owned my personality and I brought my A-Game to the table. I felt so good, so confident and so powerful. I was thinking while I was on stage about some of the really very difficult things I've had to overcome in my life and how all of it is totally worth it. I know how to withstand pain. I know how to reach out for help. I know how to persevere. I know how to discipline myself. And I know how to be grateful and enjoy abundance. I am so totally lucky - I wanted to cry walking home from that class because I just felt like doing my best was honoring God and validating my existence on earth.
It's not just I think I can anymore with me. It's just I CAN!!! How you like me now!?
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